Not surprising based on my last post, but I got sick this past weekend. I spent all of yesterday in bed and just awoke this morning with a clear enough head to realize that there were old take-out soup containers all over my room, pens in my bed, work papers strewn across the floor, and I needed to pack for a flight for New York I'm getting on later today.
I've been trying for the past week to prep things with my job at the Conservatory and get things settled enough so that I can leave. Things are never prepped or settled to my liking, so my resort has been to do the best I can and then tell people, "I'm going out of town. I won't be able to respond to phone or email quickly." Hopefully they will be able to rely on what I have left them and their own resourcefulness.
It feels a bit like fleeing responsibility. Like if I were to cook a massive feast right now and then leave my roommate with all the dishes? Kind of like that, but this job is not my feast, I'm just paid to be responsible for some of it.
I love it, I do. My summers stress me out, I'm not going to lie. I get burnt out, I get a bit jaded, I get tired and I start to be annoyed by everybody. And, side-by-side with that, I see so many life changing experiences for so many young people. I see dancers' when they first meet Summer at an audition, I see them fall in love with her teaching, I see them arrive at our summer program scared and excited, I see their worlds open up, I see them make friends, I see them struggle, I see them learn, I see them cry when they leave, and often, many times, I get to see them come back. I would not be dancing right now if it were not for the Conservatory, and I believe wholeheartedly in the lessons that are taught here.
When I think of all that happens, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But I am glad to be able to set it all aside for a week - this coming week I will be in New York City, assisting Dandelion Dancetheater during their performance run at Joyce SoHo, and performing a bit part with them. Performance debut in New York!
I wish I weren't recovering from this horrible bout of whatever that was, but there are always many things I wish for.
OK, I think I'm done with this diversion. I'm not yet packed completely, and the fridge company is annoyed with us. Time to straighten things out.