I am frustrated by things outside of my control. The scheduling of things, the intentions of others, the amount of seconds in an hour.
This area of the city smells like urine and cigarettes. The women I see are either too skinny and frantic or too fat and lethargic. I don't understand how these people survive, considering that, while I am apparently much better off than they, I am amazed that I survive at all.
Walgreens is an incredibly stupid store. "Walgreens exploits everything," said a piece of graffiti art I saw recently. "Walgreens is dumb. They sell all this pointless crap - even their groceries aren't real groceries," I said a while back. "But real groceries by whose standards?" he said. "Mine, of course," I said. I spent $5.19 at Walgreens today, on credit. Then I went and worked about long enough to pay it off.
Maybe my inability to see past my own standards leaves me frustrated. I remember a time when I optimistically understood everything - lateness, bad moods, poor performance, lack of will, it was all understood with a relentless compassion. Perhaps, with this wide swath of forgiveness, I was hoping someone would offer me the same.
What, may I ask, am I writing about?
I wish the bus would have come on time tonight, so that I wouldn't have let her down.
I'd kind of like to get drunk off that left-over bottle of champagne on the counter, but drinking a bottle of champagne that has sat around since New Years by yourself just seems more pathetic than it would be worth.
So, you know, I'm writing a blog instead.