Thursday, May 7, 2009

king of the horshradishes, came through the window, out the door, trapeez artist

I am interested in the moment of initiation. In the impulse that starts action.

Ok, I KNOW! Ok, Ok, fine, I know that EVERYOne talks about this, that it's something that, as a dancer, you kind of have to be interested in. But give me a break - 98% of the population is interested in "movies," and just because everyone is interested in initiation, doesn't mean that I don't have a genuine desire to think about, explore, and gain knowedge on what exactly it is that comes before momementum, movement, or just plain work.

Like tonight, I have been procrastinating for hours. And finally decided that I needed to sit down and do some work, and it feels like all I need to do to make that happen is to plug in my external drive and turn it on. An action which will then start me openning the file I need, clicking here, clicking there, and getting the job done.

What is it that kick starts the beginning? What is it that I have to get past?

Is it possible to procrastinate physical movement? (Yes! I know someone who does this. And also, like my old roommate who procrastinated for months and then wrote brilliant papers, she is actually quite brilliant when she moves.)

And I'm actually not interested in movies. I like movies, sure, I'll go out to the movies and enjoy myself and talk about them afterwards, but I am not intested in them. They don't make my eyes widen when I think about them, or my brain go into a slightly spacey but only because it's ever so engaged state.

Also, as my waitress at the Thai restaurant said a few weekends back, I am a dreamer. I think I've been day-dreaming too much.

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