Wednesday, April 29, 2009

in a little while, take 2

Apparently all my writing has digressed to list-making. Oh well. Here are another couple of 'em.

Things I can now do that I couldn't do a week ago:
1) point
2) flex
3) stand on one foot
4) walk quickly
5) ride a bike
6) climb stairs/walk down stairs
7) walk around in socks
8) tendue
9) pivot (in socks) both on carpet and wood flooring

Things I can't do now that I could a week and 8 hours ago:
1) releve
2) plie
3) pointe work
4) turn
5) jump
6) run
7) dance for 5+ hours in a day
8) mount my bike from the left side without thinking about it
9) wear flip flops, high heels, and other ridiculous shoes
10) contact improv

Really? That quick, eh? Injuries suck. I'm not that depressed about this one - it's minor - but I am super duper grumpy about it.

I can think of all the things that lead up to this one, in hindsight they make a clear path. I wish I could see a clear path the other way, one in which I could predict when I'd be done with the healing process, and where that would leave me today and tomorrow. I'd like to know when I could dance again.

Watching class is hard. Sometimes I know what it would feel like to do what my peers are doing, and I believe that I could. This is when my body remembers that it was just dancing, and the realization that it is not capable right now comes like cold water. Other times I get frightened watching the other dancers, sure that they will hurt themselves. This is when my body is with itself in its present injured state, and, understanding that it couldn't accomplish the movements, projects that feeling on to the other bodies.

Having a minor injury after having a major injury is only slightly easier having gone through that big thing. Comparatively, this one is nothing, so that's easier. But there also resides in my muscle tissue and emotional cognizance all the crappiness I felt during that time. So, even though I know that I'm only going to be out for a week or so, when I watch class suddenly I'm back in that place where I was watching for a year plus, and all I wanted to be doing was dancing.

All I want to be doing is dancing. Seriously. Like this:cc--------/{..:;`'||

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